Job Without Rules

There’s no point in arguing something that is dead and drowned. When he pulled me into his office I knew something was wrong. I never really speak to him, let alone sit down and chat.

Luckily I wasn’t preparing to get comfortable because before my butt had even felt cushion he said “Right, you’re fired.”

“Wh-what? Why?”

“You were caught on camera stealing a box of pens from the supply closet. We do not tolerate that.” He picked up the remote on his desk and clicked a button. A screen magically rose out of what I thought was a table to my left and showed a security video of me shoving a few pens in my pocket, looking this way and that over my shoulder. Guilty as charged.

As I was carried out the door by security I realized that wasn’t the job for me. Being a second assistant to a junior accountant didn’t ring. It was toneless, boring, like the job itself. After being tossed out the door I stood up, brushed the poop I had landed in off my knees and took a deep breath. An opportunity to find my passion.

Over the next few months I tried my hand at a few things. Inter-galatic sex operator was entertaining until some Alien beings got so dirty I threw up. On my boss. Who was monitoring my progress. Not the best way to make a good impression.

I dabbled in the gangster business for a second but the moment I chipped a nail on the raid, balked about it and got some of our gang shot, I was out. Apparently none of the guys realized just how important a good manicure is. Lucky for me they merely told me if I ever told anyone what I had seen or heard they’d hunt me down and kill me. Phew! What a break.

The longest job I managed to hold down was an interstellar translator. It was going great for a while until my superior found out that I would make things up when I didn’t know what was being said. Apparently it’s not ethical. Who knew?

What is a girl to do? Sitting here, staring at a blank cellu-screen I have galaxies of jobs at my finger tips. When I’ve found a job I kind of enjoy it gets taken out from under me because of all these “rules”. I’m just about to type up “Job with no rules” when- Ring, dadaring, ring da-

“Yes?”

“Allo, darling.”

“Hey Babs,” my sister.

“Darling, tell me you love me.”

“I love you, Babs, now what’s up?” I really do need another manicure.

“I think I’ve found you the perfect job. Planet hopping, sunshine and moonshine in your face, meeting new people, taking your time.” Sounds good so far.

“What’s the catch?”

“No catch. Just call this constellation and ask for Roving Wishes.”

As I jot down the number I think things may work out after all.
_________________________ __________________________

Six months later and I’m the happiest girl in the galaxy. I have found my calling! My sister was right. This is the job, no scratch that, the life for me. My hours are great, I have all the time in that world to get my job done, I meet new people everyday. I see sunshine and moonshine (depending on which planet I’m on) and I love my clients. Looking down at them sniffing and wagging I feel no regrets but peace and joy. Oh, hang on, phone call.

“Roving wishes animal walking Company where your little rover is our biggest priority. How can I make their wish come true today?”