Welcome to the World. How may I assist you?- Ch. 1

Chapter I
As each finger slid off the edge of the building I couldn’t help but think “I really wish I gotten my hair colored yesterday when I had the chance”. I mean, here I was, about to plummet hundreds of feet to my death and all I could think about was how people would find me with my roots receding away from the frown lines permanently etched into my forehead.

When I got into this job almost 5 years ago I knew life and limb was at risk. What I didn’t realize was that so was my time for personal upkeep. As a blushing 23 year old new to the working game I felt nothing could be more important than how I looked; the face, fashion and general poise that I presented to the world. The moment I accepted my job that whole notion immediately became secondary to the work at hand: Saving the world.

The ad said “VIP needs personal assistant to help organize a flurried life of constant flying, negotiating and back breaking hours. Must be a person of great moral fiber with steadfast societal ethics eager to learn and scared of nothing.” Couldn’t have been more vague and more perfect for someone like me, unsure of who I wanted to be and had little experience working.

When I got to the interview I took the elevator on the left as directed and pressed the only button there. Shooting down at what felt like warp speed I knew this was going to be a job unlike any other. When the elevator doors opened there he was. At 6 feet 5 inches he had a strong build and chiseled facial features but his eyes were a soft brown and because he smiled constantly they were generally partially obscured. I could immediately see why the papers said he was able to calm even the most hysterical of women facing death.

“Welcome. I’m so glad you found it all right,” The Winged Guardian said. I closed my mouth as quickly as I could, trying to show professionalism instead of what I was really feeling: utter astonishment. Twenty minutes later I was hired.

“You are very charming. I think we’ll make a great team. Be here tomorrow at 9:00am and we’ll go over everything!” he exclaimed.

I had charmed one of the most charming men in world saving history. This was either amazing news or suicidal.

The Triangle, which line do you follow?

I have been having an emotional crisis which leads to self investigation and discovery. What, prey tell, is my crisis? It's the obsession of the great happy life, the perfect triangle. It can be argued that one is always searching for the best of three things: the perfect significant other, the perfect place to live and the perfect job. Why, when two of those things actually do fit into our idea of perfect do we obsesses over the one thing that isn't quite right?

Can all of those three ever be in perfect tandem anyway? I called one of my girlfriends last night to lament about my current sadness with one leg of the triangle. I know that crying and complaining only makes one a victim and to really find the route to happiness you have to take back control and do something about your situation. It's hard to do so when you are stuck in the situation and everywhere you turn seems bleak and dreary. My girlfriend, commiserating with me told me that she felt that every leg of her triangle was broken, not one of those things she was happy with. It got me thinking that maybe I don't have it so bad.

Then I started to wonder if one of the legs could be more important than the other two. If that is case then maybe, just maybe, if you are truly happy with that one leg that you hold to be the most dear then it can make up for the other leg or other two legs that you aren't truly satisfied with. Then again if that one leg isn't meeting your needs then it can cause the whole thing to come tumbling down, conceivably destroying the other two legs in the process.

So how to fix the problem? Being proactive is an easier proposition that’s said than done, I think. What if you don't have the perfect significant other? How then to go about finding one that truly fits you? Going to a bar can be disastrous. It seems to me that meeting someone you meet at a bar can only lead to a one night stand or maybe an interesting yet casual conversation. If you take that person home that night it seems unlikely that a lasting and respectful relationship can be forged through it though there have been exceptions of course. Dating websites are an entertaining idea though many people find them to be pathetic or a last resort. I don't know what my feelings are on those websites. Going through friends is probably the best option because it's like an off handed reference of sorts. However, if it doesn't work out or their recommendation is no good it can jeopardize your friendship with that person, not to mention the awkward failed attempt at a set up or blind date you have to experience in the process.

Finding a perfect apartment in this market might be the easiest plan. Many people are selling or renting out spaces and a lot of times they are furnished in neighborhoods that would normally run hundreds of dollars more in a different financial climate. The idea of moving out all of your stuff could be pretty daunting and going from apartment to apartment to look for places requires a lot of patience and real estate knowledge. However, with enough research and some time to spare perfection in this leg might be easily attained.

Finally, finding the perfect job is a life long search in any climate but in this economy it seems next to impossible. People who don't have jobs are looking for anything they can get and people who do are too scared to give them up for fear they might never find one again. Those who are in a job they love in this market might be the luckiest people out there. I believe that this leg of the triangle holds a lot of weight because as Americans, capitalist, no less, we spend so many hours of our lives doing our jobs just to thrive and do things that we love outside of those jobs. It can be very rewarding or very grueling. What do you do when you don't have the perfect job or don't know what the perfect job is?

I guess, however that question is a question to relate to all three of these legs? What is perfect? In one of the very first episodes of Sex and the City (yes, Sex and the City) Mr. Big (the main male protagonist) is talking to Cary (the show's narrator) about dating models and how there are so many beautiful women in NYC, how do you know which ones are models? All this invariably leading up to the question of perfection and is beauty the true idea of a perfect mate. Mr. Big quickly negates this thought and says "At the end of the day you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh." And while it might be hard to see how this can apply to all these legs I think it is an important thought. At the end of the day we just want to laugh and be happy so do whatever it takes to make that triangle as straight and complete as you can.

It's been an even longer time

I have really been bad about this whole writing thing and I'm just not sure how to buckle myself down and get to it. I so enjoy it once I do it and am constantly reminding myself to get something out there for whomever it is to read. But time and time again I find that I get side tracked with something else, usually something self serving like reading, eating or watching a movie.

Recently I did see a movie I rather enjoyed. Frost/Nixon, who sadly won nothing at the Oscars (it was nominated in something like five categories) was I thought a stellar achievement of historical re-telling. Not being around for the Watergate scandal myself or any of the subsequent after math it was interesting to watch not only how the people of America felt about the situation, including Nixon's resignation, but how Nixon and those aides close to him felt when it all went down.

Frank Langella who played Nixon did a phenomenal job portraying Nixon’s idiosyncrasies, his tonality, and his intonations. He made Nixon seem jointly paranoid, money hungry and truly disturbed by the way things had turned out. It was as though Nixon believed that what had transpired was done in the best interest of the country and it's citizens.

Michael Sheen who played Frost also did a wonderful job, though I'm not sure how demanding the role really was for him. Don't get me wrong, playing someone who truly existed during events that actually happened is probably harder to do than playing a fictional character because you always have people telling you what really happened or how it was really said instead of letting the actor have their own creative flow. However, Sheen has chosen roles similar to this in the past when he played Tony Blair in the Queen. Granted he was playing a more serious character but both movies were about British role models (in a sense) and both of them had something to prove. Again, I was captivated by his performance as well.

The movie documented not only the interview that took place between the two men over four days in a house somewhere in LA but also what led up to it; Nixon's resignation, Frost's idea to get Nixon to do an interview where he discuses his presidency, his actions in office, and of course Watergate, and the way the team that brought Nixon to this unofficial public trial-- as it were-- came together and formed what was to become a historical event. What was asked and said in the interview, I have heard, is factual and some of the lines, including one of them that was in the trailer for the movie, gave me chills to think that not only did Nixon say them, but he believed them. Lines such as:

Frost: Are you really saying the President can do something illegal?
Nixon: I'm saying when the President does it, it's not illegal.

Now of course there were things that Nixon said after that one line, that I won't give away, which didn't necessarily exonerate him but it did make him seem a little bit more human. That was something that I found so compelling about the film was how human Nixon seemed. Before he was just a man, a former president who for the first time in history had resigned for a lie. He wasn't, I am sure, the first President to have lied, but he got caught and the only way to "save face" was to resign. That was all I knew of this man, his tarnished reputation. Ron Howard showed that Nixon was a man who wanted to do right by his people and his country but his ideologies weren't always the most clean and his execution wasn't always the right path. Nixon was socially awkward and yet somehow became President. Interesting how it all turned out.

I guess I should still think about forming my own Academy, vocalizing how I truly feel about movies and hope people will follow because although Frost/Nixon was nominated it got nada, and I found it to be one of the most enjoyable films out there. I guess I'll have to start writing more and more just so I can show that movies aren't always what they say they are...but then again sometimes they are.

It's been a long time

I recently watched Rachel Getting Married and the Wrestler. I feel an obligation to watch movies that have prominent Oscar nominations, these being two of them with critical acclaim. With all the hype surrounding both of these movies I tucked myself in for what I expected to be a moving and breathtaking experience. Neither of these movies, I felt, delivered.

Now when I say moving or breathtaking I don't just mean that the movie is beautiful to look at or the dialogue is so intense that I well up immediately but I do expect to feel something and crave more from the movie as each minute passes.

Rachel Getting Married was a realistic portrayal of a woman who has been in and out of rehab for much of her life and her sister is getting married. The interaction between each of the family members as they struggle to reconcile a tragic past of one daughter with a bright and happy future of another was well done in its fidelity to such a stuation. I, however, felt uncomfortable for much of the film and was anticipating the end of the movie like a person after a long day of work anticipates a strong drink. The destroyed sister, as it were, was self indulgent and pretty selfish as much of her family accused her of being. Her monologues were filled with self loathing and stories of her troubled past. It made me want leave the room immediately and I wondered why anyone would pay to feel this way when they can feel it for free in life.

The Wrestler on the other hand was a look into a small niche of society. A man, who used to be a legend in a circuit like the WWE and has found he has reached a time in his life where he isn't relevant to anyone, including his own (surprise surprise) estranged daughter. The film was poignant in its character portrayal of a man whose life has figuratively come to an end but yet he continues to eat, drink and breathe. While the film did a good job with its long takes and minimal dialogue, of showing a man who's down on his luck and life I didn't feel I gained anything by watching the movie. Now some would say (*cough cough- a friend of mine who I work with) that I always feel I have to gain something out of a movie, whether it be a profound experience, to escape, or to learn something new. And I say, well why the hell shouldn't I expect that? I pay almost 12$ to see a movie in the theater. I expect to get my money's worth. While the Wrestler certainly took me to a world I have never experienced or seen (either on TV or from the inside) at the end of it I didn't feel like I learned anything more than I had at the beginning of the movie; either about wrestling or the main character. And while I certainly felt for the guy I didn't see any evolution in the character, either upwards or downwards and I wondered, what the hell is the point then of those two hours?

Some would say I'm crazy for not appreciating either of these movies but my boyfriend--who will subsequently be known as Joosh Man (or JM when I'm lazy) brought up an interesting point: Why is it that the Academy feels that all these indie, pseudo-realistic films are the ones that are worth merit? It seems to be the case year after year that these small films with their shaky camera work and their character investigations get all the clout and movies that take you somewhere you never imagined, like Wall-E get shoved into the assumed Animation category and never thought of again. Maybe someday I'll create a new Academy that will have clout with the public and re-invite this whole idea of "good movies". Until then, I'll have to be satisfied with the movies that thrill me like my new peach "Bye Bye Birdie" (classic!).

What's monotony worth?

I have been pretty bad at keeping up with this blogging thing I know but I'm working on it. In an effort to keep working I have decided I need to create a schedule for my blogging, a routine that I can stick to thereby remembering to blog and having new and exciting topics on a consistent basis. In making this schedule and trying to adhere to the routine it got me thinking about responsibility. The responsibility of blogging, sure, but what other responsibilities require a routine? And with routine does monotony inevitably follow because of the constant similarity; the repetition of said routine? Routine is usually something we put in place to make sure we do something on time and correctly, aka Responsibility. Does monotony equal responsibility?

I got into a discussion about this with my father, a wise man, and he thought otherwise. Dear old Dad believed that routine was a comfort, something that fills our days and that allows us to have a constant rhythm to our life, a beat to follow. I agree with that, I actually like routine. It helps the days move along when you have something that you must do everyday. It creates a sense of achievement when that task is done or maybe something to look forward to constantly when that task is something as enjoyable as writing (if of course you like to write, though why would you if you didn't?).

However, certain routines are the signatures of being an adult such as paying bills and rent every month, taking your car in to be cleaned, oil changed, tires rotated, and if you're truly ambitious, walking a dog, feeding it, cleaning it, etc. These routines are not necessarily enjoyable though neither are they truly abhorrent but they certainly signify adulthood. If you are able to pay bills and rent on your own it can be assumed you have a job, another flag that you must be what society deems a "responsible adult". The same can be said for a car. Having a dog is usually something people do when they have what they like to call stability in their life, where they feel they can cater to a dog's need. Said stability comes from the routine of adulthood where money, time and the desire to have something else rely on you are in place.

Another argument could be made that all this consistency also comes from having a constant flow of cash which unfortunately cannot just be plucked off trees. The cash needs to come from a working job whereby repetitiveness tends to reign. Maybe not all the time but jobs usually have a daily steadiness where we do the same things everyday.

Yet another argument is that this whole idea of being what society calls an adult isn’t necessarily being an adult. Maturity is a large portion of what people like using as a qualifier for determining an adult. I have know people who were wise beyond their years and younger than I. By the same token I have known people who were 15 years my senior and had the maturity level of a teenager. I hate to say it but it’s usually men who have the hardest time growing into the maturity level of their years which is why I feel you usually see older men with younger women, they have a maturity match.

So what makes adulthood interesting? How do you break up the routine without feeling the shakiness? Do you need that routine and stability to be in place to be called an adult? One day I hope to test the boundaries of my routine and mix things up, maybe get a job that requires me to never be in one place for more than a few days. But until I feel that sudden urge to be a risk taker, I'll stick to the ebb and flow or lack thereof of good ol' regularity.